Sunday, August 24, 2014
Wrath of the Ninja: Road Rage
What were these idiots doing? Well I'm glad you asked! They were driving straight. I'm waiting for them to pass so I can make my turn. Then these idiots slow down and start waving their arms at me like they are having a epileptic seizure. I'm in my car like 'OMG I hope they are OK!' Then I realize that yes they are OK, but have the intellect of broken watch. They might be right twice a day, but the rest of the day... Those idiots are trying to make a turn and I'm in their way. I had to post on facebook about the amazing 'new' feature on cars called a 'turn signal'. If these people had used their turn signal then they wouldn't have had a need to wave their arms wildly at me. I would have known that they were trying to turn and would have moved out of their way. Instead I have to try to interpret their wild flailing arms as if it's the universal signal for "I'm an idiot that doesn't know how to use a turn signal and I'm coming your way. Also I eat poop." I swear idiotic behavior is a communicable disease that we must fight against.
Where do I send my money to donate against this disease? The education system in the United States is so screwed up right now. We can't even give our teachers an incentive to give a crap about the education of the children in this nation. The teacher's union won't allow bonuses for teachers who perform better, and the budget for supplies is nil. We are handicapping our teachers from being able to do the job that they are paid to do. When it comes time to make budget cuts guess what one of the first things cut always is? If you didn't say education then you should smack yourself right now. Don't wait for me to do it, do it yourself. Listen to that Nike swoosh and just do it already. Don't get me started on Common Core buddy unless you want to smack yourself again.
It's like today's Americans really don't give a crap about the future. They've been given a Camaro, and they want to rev it up until the wheels fall off. Well guess what? You know who is going to take care of you when you're old and can no longer do it for yourself? That's right.. the next generation. If we don't do something about this disease then we're going to be surrounded by stupid people when that time comes. They won't care about us either. Which shouldn't surprise anyone since we have screwed up their future, and only so we can enjoy the present slightly more.
I propose that we should have a drool cup challenge. You have to donate $100 to our education system, you can dump a cup of drool from the nearest idiot on top of your head to reduce that amount to $10, or you can drink the drool and let me smack the crap out of you to not have to donate a penny. I'm challenging Congress. You have 24 hours to comply.
Now where is my aerosol spray? We need some more holes in our ozone layer. The polar ice isn't melting quick enough.