Sunday, August 24, 2014

Wrath of the Ninja: Road Rage

Sometimes while driving I am overcome with the urge to follow someone to their destination, going miles out of my way, just to smack the crap out of them. Today I came across several of these people while driving. I even spent most of my day inside even though it was very nice out. I did about 15 minutes of driving total today. Usually I will just laugh it off or ignore the idiots, but I just went on a three mile drive that took a total of five minutes and came across three of the same idiots doing the exact same stupid thing.

What were these idiots doing? Well I'm glad you asked! They were driving straight. I'm waiting for them to pass so I can make my turn. Then these idiots slow down and start waving their arms at me like they are having a epileptic seizure. I'm in my car like 'OMG I hope they are OK!' Then I realize that yes they are OK, but have the intellect of broken watch. They might be right twice a day, but the rest of the day... Those idiots are trying to make a turn and I'm in their way. I had to post on facebook about the amazing 'new' feature on cars called a 'turn signal'. If these people had used their turn signal then they wouldn't have had a need to wave their arms wildly at me. I would have known that they were trying to turn and would have moved out of their way. Instead I have to try to interpret their wild flailing arms as if it's the universal signal for "I'm an idiot that doesn't know how to use a turn signal and I'm coming your way. Also I eat poop." I swear idiotic behavior is a communicable disease that we must fight against.

Where do I send my money to donate against this disease? The education system in the United States is so screwed up right now. We can't even give our teachers an incentive to give a crap about the education of the children in this nation. The teacher's union won't allow bonuses for teachers who perform better, and the budget for supplies is nil. We are handicapping our teachers from being able to do the job that they are paid to do. When it comes time to make budget cuts guess what one of the first things cut always is? If you didn't say education then you should smack yourself right now. Don't wait for me to do it, do it yourself. Listen to that Nike swoosh and just do it already. Don't get me started on Common Core buddy unless you want to smack yourself again.

It's like today's Americans really don't give a crap about the future. They've been given a Camaro, and they want to rev it up until the wheels fall off. Well guess what? You know who is going to take care of you when you're old and can no longer do it for yourself? That's right..  the next generation. If we don't do something about this disease then we're going to be surrounded by stupid people when that time comes. They won't care about us either. Which shouldn't surprise anyone since we have screwed up their future, and only so we can enjoy the present slightly more.

I propose that we should have a drool cup challenge. You have to donate $100 to our education system, you can dump a cup of drool from the nearest idiot on top of your head to reduce that amount to $10, or you can drink the drool and let me smack the crap out of you to not have to donate a penny. I'm challenging Congress. You have 24 hours to comply.

Now where is my aerosol spray? We need some more holes in our ozone layer. The polar ice isn't melting quick enough.

1 comment:

Corabelle said...

I can not stand it when people do not use or do not pay attention to turn signals! Skipping ahead, have looked into common core and it is one big face palm. I did not even know about common core curriculum until I met some other moms in my neighborhood. Most of these moms homeschool, not for religious reasons, but because of common core. All I could think of well that is all fine and good, while a kid is elementary school, but are you going to be helping or hurting them when it comes to the high school level? It is a huge mess that s for sure!