Thursday, July 30, 2015

Guarding Angel Blog Tour

Hello, everyone! This is S. L. Saboviec, and I’m pleased to be a guest today on Brian’s blog. I’m author of the Adult Paranormal novel Guarding Angel, and I’m here to talk about writing advice.

Spend five minutes looking at the #writetip feed, and you’ll find truckloads of advice. Some good, some bad, most repetitive. I don’t need to give you good advice; you know it when you hear it. I’m going to talk about some bad advice I’ve heard, and why it’s so ridiculous.

Bad Advice #1: Write at least four hours a day.

This particularly spectacular piece of bad advice comes from On Writing by Stephen King. Let me caveat by saying that I love that book. It’s actually chock full of inspiring, thought-provoking, good advice. But this one was bad. Real bad. It actually quite upset me when I first read it.

Look, Stephen King, not all of us are bajillionaire bestselling authors like you. Some—dare I say, most—of us have nine-to-five jobs. And family. And friends. And have to do our own cooking, cleaning, and brushing of teeth with normal, not gold-encrusted, toothbrushes. For most of us, four hours is, like, astronomical, and an inability to commit to that does not make us failures.

I kid, Stephen King, really. I love ya, and I know you only had our best intentions at heart. But “Find time to write every day, even if only for five minutes” would have been a realistic standard that you could have given us.

Bad Advice #2: To make it as a writer, it is essential that you blog.

I appreciate people who blog, obviously—I’m on a blog tour right now. Thank you, Brian, for keeping a blog! Thank you, everyone else who has hosted me, for keeping a blog!

But if you’re like me and the thought of blogging makes you want to pound your head against the wall so you can become hospitalized with a concussion and have a legitimate excuse not to blog for a week…

Don’t blog.

Spend your time writing stuff you like. Spend your time marketing in other ways. Spend your time doing something you actually enjoy doing. You know why? Because if you’re hating every second of something, it’s going to come across to your readership. Then you’re going to struggle to blog. Nobody’s going to read it. And you’re going to struggle to blog some more.

That sounds not very fun to me.

So find other ways to find fans. A ton exist. You just need to find them. Is it easy? No. But it’s better than doing something you absolutely loathe.

Bad Advice #3: When someone leaves a review, never talk to them about it. However, make sure you always thank reviewers because you don’t want to seem aloof or ungrateful. But remember that Goodreads and Amazon are for readers, not writers, so don’t go talking to anyone. Still, readers love to hear from their favorite authors, so hang out where your readers are and engage them!

Make up your mind, people.

My advice? If you’re an author struggling for exposure on social media, don’t act like a drunk girl on her first spring break, begging for attention, any kind of attention at all.

That pretty much covers it.

The Best Writing Advice I Ever Got

Find what works for you and do that. If that means writing five minutes a day, write five minutes a day. If that means talking to your readers, talk to your readers. If that means plotting or pantsing, plotty pantsing or pantsy plotting, if that means naming all your characters “Chad” on the first draft, do those things. If it gets the words on paper, do it. If it inspires you to write just a little bit more, don’t do it.

Just kidding.

Whatever it takes to motivate you to write, that’s what you should do. You’re the only one who can tell the story in your own unique way—so you’re the only one that knows the path to getting yourself there.

So basically what I’m saying is—stop listening to people on the internet.

Perhaps even me.

About Me
I’m a self-published author whose dark, thought-provoking science fiction & fantasy contains flawed, relatable characters and themes that challenge the status quo. Guarding Angel is on sale for $0.99 right now. You can find it at several major eBook retailers and on Amazon in paperback. The sequel, Reaping Angel, will be released in early 2016.
You can also follow me on social media, check out the other stops on this blog tour, or if you like my work, sign up for my newsletter:
Thank you, Brian, for having me here today!

Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation

Rated PG-13 / 2 hr 1 min / Action - Adventure - Thriller

What is it about?

Ethan Hunt and the IMF are searching for a rogue organization that has infiltrated the highest levels of government. They are highly trained operatives looking to manipulate governments into doing something bad. Like making My Little Pony a national mascot. The problem is that Congress has shut down the IMF at the behest of the director of the CIA. You can't out-act Alec Baldwin. Don't even try! Now Ethan Hunt has gone rogue to destroy this organization known as "The Syndicate" that the CIA thinks is a figment of his imagination. The Syndicate and the CIA are both trying to capture or kill Ethan while trying to get him to do their bidding. Not sure what they really want from Ethan Hunt, but you know from M:I3 that if he dies they'll bring him back because Tom Cruise.

You will like it if...

You like the previous Mission Impossible movies. Rogue Nation has many of the same things previous films in the series have had like good special effects, cool gadgets, crazy stunts, Tom Cruise, etc.. Each film in this series has built on the previous one like LEGOS. The script in this fourth iteration feels a bit more refined. Rather than being an adrenaline packed shoot 'em up that these types of movies usually devolve to, Rogue Nation feels like the total package Lex Luger. The fight scenes, just like the previous films, are shot zoomed in with jump cuts that makes it hard to tell what is going on. They improved the way they shot them compared to the previous Mission Impossible films, but at this point it's like trying to polish a turd. The bad guy in Rogue Nation does a good job for the most part, but at times the actor is uncomfortable in the role. In some scenes he is almost sex offender creepy. In the end Rogue Nation is an above average action movie that fans of the series should enjoy.

Next Week

Fantastic Four and/or The Gift
Vote for your choice in the comments!

Monday, July 27, 2015

Virtual Wars Government

Ah yes, Government. A subject that invites derision no matter what side of the subject you are on. This week we'll talk about the police state in the world of Virtual Wars. A world that is divided into districts that are the size of countries. Each bit of inhabitable land is divided evenly between the districts.

The Council of The United Districts

Representatives of each district sit on the Council of the United Districts. The council makes decisions on a worldwide scale to prevent the kind of problems that could cause worldwide destruction. They assign neutral arbitrators when there are disputes between two countries and when necessary they determine if a Virtual War will take place. It is similar to the United Nations, but with a major difference. Any district that defies the orders of the council will face the wrath of the World Police Force.

Each district has to follow rules that have been set down to preserve the peace. District 13 only contains services and buildings used to support the government. Each district has its own government structure and economy that are all controlled independently. No district can be run as a religious state. No district other than District 13 is allowed to have a factory for the mass production of firearms, and any weapon designated class 3 or higher is illegal. Class 3 weapons would include sniper rifles, assault rifles, and any fully automatic weapon. Homemade zip guns are commonly used for hunting in some districts. Any publication or television show that claims to present the "news" must only present the facts. Editorials or any opinion pieces must be presented separately and clearly not labeled as being "news".

The World Police Force

The training facilities and headquarters for the World Police Force are located in District 13. Once recruits graduate from training they are commonly known as "Enforcers". They are equipped with body armor and various weapons including pepper spray, stun sticks, and more lethal options up to assault and sniper rifles. They have offices in every known city in the world. They are there to enforce the local laws of each district as well as the laws of the United Districts Council.

The Trackers are a division of the Police that act as bounty hunters. They are specially trained troops that are brought in when the police fail. The Trackers wear strange looking uniforms and helmets that cover their faces. There are many rumors surrounding the Trackers since there is almost no information about them. The only time you hear about them is when they capture a criminal.

Next Week

I plan to touch on religion. Another touchy subject I know! It's fiction though.

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Friday, July 24, 2015


Rated PG-13 / 1 hr 45 min / Action - Comedy - SciFi

What is it about?

In a world where Kevin James is President of the United States, Adam Sandler plays a former video game champion. He finished second in the world championship in 1982. Now his life has become a sad shell of what it used to be, similar to a former 80's TV childhood star who moves in with Michael Jackson. He decides to become a life coach to a woman who is hiding in a closet crying over a sippy-cup of wine. He tells her that when life gives you lemons then you do shots! He gets called into his best friend's office, who just happens to be Kevin James, because real life video games are attacking. Coincidentally the woman from the closet is a high ranking military adviser with a very important sippy-cup. Time to save the world from pixelated Smurfs.

You will like it if...

You like comedies that have a healthy dose of 80's nostalgia. Like Wreck-It Ralph there are plenty of video game references that will stiffen the nipples of any old school gamers. There are a lot of gut laughs and chuckles to be had throughout the film, but no truly big laughs. Adam Sandler has given up as a lead actor. It feels like he isn't trying anymore, but he is still carted out like an unkillable zombie painted up as a clown. A block of wood could have done a better job than Adam Sandler did in Pixels. He tried to conjure some of his trademark charm from his younger days, but his heart isn't in it anymore. The script is well done unlike some of Sandler's recent movies which makes a big difference. That along with good performances from every other cast member saves the film from being a complete disaster. In the end Pixels is a bit of light fun for adults who enjoyed the days of arcades and Pac-Man, but falls short of being anything memorable.

Next Week

Vacation or Mission:Impossible Rogue Nation
Vote for your choice in the comments!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Virtual Wars Technology

Now it is time to delve into the new technologies that have been developed in the world of the Virtual Wars novels. I tried to base most of these on technologies that already exist in today's world, but have evolved and advanced in a way that I could see being widespread in the near future. Some other technologies are taken from our imaginations, but have been presented in other forms of media before (Books, TV, Movies, etc). A few are my own creations that I haven't seen before anywhere else. Let's take a look at a few of the major technologies in this world.

Hover Technology

The thought of Hover Cars has captured my imagination ever since I first saw them in the Back To The Future movies. Jiggawatts? Did Jay-Z create them? In the world of Virtual Wars the hover vehicles are all but a necessity for travel between countries. Many of the roads have been overgrown with vegetation. Rather than invest in clearing them off and repaving them, hover technology was developed. It's still a somewhat new technology and not everyone has access. Many people cling to their conventional vehicles even though they are limited to where they can travel.

The hover technology uses renewable sources of energy. The fossil fuels of the past have been almost completely exhausted. When the world burned, the fossil fuels did as well. There are still pockets of natural gas and oil deep beneath the surface, but many countries that chose to rely on drilling have found it to be difficult to survive using the fragmented deposits they have found. It has become increasingly expensive to use oil. Most countries only use it to recycle plastics and other oil-based products. As a result the hover cars propel themselves using a mix of hydrogen based fuel and solar power. Most conventional vehicles have been retrofitted to use similar fuel sources, although some run on steam. Hover technology is mostly used by the World Police Force and mass public transit vehicles.

PEL Devices

PEL stands for Personal Entertainment Library. It's similar to the smart watches that are coming out now. The screen of the device curves around about 3/4 of a person's forearm on the left or right side depending on if they are left or right handed. Most phone calls are video calls with a 3D holographic projection display. Just like today with smartphones, many people spend hours upon hours with their face in their PEL devices in this world. It basically does everything a computer, smartphone, TV, *insert entertainment device here* can. *waits anxiously for Samsung/Apple to create one*

Most people get their news through their PEL devices. It is rare that you would see someone without one of these devices on their arm. People use it to stay connected on any number of social media sites. Most currency transactions go through the devices. A GPS implant is inserted under the skin of every person that is linked to the device. This allows the user to remove the device from their arm, and in case they lose the device the GPS implant will help them find it.

Virtual Wars Game Rooms

The Virtual Wars Game Rooms are designed to be a virtual reality rooms for one player's use in a first person perspective shooter game. In other words it's like Halo or Destiny. The difference being that you actually feel the gravity of the room. You feel the weight of the gun you are carrying. You feel the danger of jumping off a tall building and potentially breaking your legs. You feel the teabagging after killing an opponent. Do people still do that in games?

The technology itself involves tiny programmable white particles that are capable of morphing themselves into a solid surfaces. The programming involved makes the grains move based on the player's movement which is registered as input. Three dimensional images on the walls give the player the illusion of real movement in an open world. Everything in the room other than the player and the outside walls are made of these particles including the weapons, bullets, other players, and so on.

There are precautions that are taken to protect the players in these game rooms. Every player must watch a safety video before entering. The players must wear a uniform made of a specialized material that the particles are programmed to never pass through. Players must be covered from head to toe to prevent accidents. Of course, accidents still occur.

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Friday, July 17, 2015


Rated PG-13 / 1 hr 57 min / Action - SciFi

What is it about?

Paul Rudd plays a master thief who has just been released from prison. His former cellmate Luis picks him up and tells him how pretty he looks then proceeds to tell him how nice Luis's couch is. Luis convinces him that he should steal from a rich guy so Luis can hold his hand as they go back to prison. Hank Pym has his get out of jail free card though. Hank wants him to be the Ant-Man because he can't perform any more. The man needs some Viagra. Paul thinks this is stupid, so he agrees to do it. They need to stop Darren Cross who has taken over Pym's company, has found the secret of the Ant-Man, and is selling it to the highest bidder. Which is probably Hydra because those jokers are everywhere now.

You will like it if...

You like comic book movies that have a flair for comedy. The first Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy would probably be the best comparison for this film. It's not as good as either of those, but it comes close. I was laughing out loud at many of the scenes throughout the movie. I'm surprised it's not listed as a comedy as well. There are minor problems with the story like scenes where the bad guys are like "the ants are coming, so let's check everyone for tiny things we probably won't find anyway". I'm like "where's the pesticide when you need it?" For people that are supposed to be incredibly smart they do some dumb things in this movie. Other than the occasional flub like this, the script is well written. The dialogue is interesting and hilarious at times. The special effects are up to par with other comic book movies. The action scenes are unique and interesting especially the final battle. I did have an issue with the "Yellowjacket". A yellowjacket is a bee isn't it? Why is this guy built like a scorpion with lazers? He should have been yelling "Get over here!" and teleporting to the other side of the map. It's easy to forgive this film for all of its mistakes because it rarely takes itself seriously. If you're looking for a light bit of comic book fun then check out Ant-Man.

Next Week

Pixels, Paper Towns, or Southpaw
Vote for your choice in the comments!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

The World of Virtual Wars

I have been working on the first in a series of three novels for almost three years now. This is the first of a new series of blog posts that I am going to write leading up to the publishing of the novel. I hope to provide some back story and context for the novel. Reading this isn't required to understand or enjoy the novel. These blog posts are for fans who wish to know more about the history of this world and how it came to be the way it is. It offers insight into my writing process. Most of this information will remain hidden or partially revealed during the course of the novel.

What is Virtual Wars?

The Virtual Wars series is a trilogy of novels based in the near future in what seems to be a utopian society that is geared towards a young adult audience. Of course, as in most cases, nothing is what it seems. The story follows Miri Stapleton who is a young teen that is trying to decide which academy to attend. An unexpected opportunity presents itself making it possible for him to compete in the Virtual Wars for a prestigious academy.

Along the way he meets Hannah, a short blonde girl who kicks ass with her fists as well as her sarcasm, and Kitsie, a beautiful and mysterious girl who is in some kind of trouble. With their help Miri finds that there are a lot of secrets and deceptions within this world including the reason his father had died eight years earlier.

Surviving the Great War

Nuclear war decimates the world. Volcanoes erupt. Tsunamis devastate. The entire planet burns and then freezes. The tectonic plates are pushed causing the land masses on the surface of the earth to collide with one another. Massive earthquakes rip apart the surface world. New ranges of mountains form from these collisions. Some land masses fall into the ocean.

The survivors of this torrent of disaster do so by going underground. Some live in caves deep below the surface, while others survive in underground facilities built specifically for an extinction level event. Food is scarce, clean water is even harder to find. The horrors the survivors have to face are best left up to the imagination.

Returning to the Surface

After many years of living underground, the weather above the surface normalizes to the point where it can again support human life. There are still wide areas of land where the levels of radioactivity are detrimental to life. Those are mapped out as X-zones. Humankind rebuilds from what is left. Much of the land has been reclaimed by plants and wild animals. The land is called New Pangea after the last time the land masses were combined into a mega-continent.

The novels take place hundreds of years after this. The X-zones have remained mostly unchanged since they were first established. Many of today's technologies have been reclaimed and improved upon. The main roads have been cleared and repaved while many of the back roads have not been reclaimed.

To avoid any future war that could cause a disaster of this scale, a new government is formed. The world is divided up in districts that each act as their own sovereign nation. They each have a representative in the New Pangean Government which is the governing body that makes decisions on worldwide issues. To prevent any future war they develop the Virtual Wars system.

< The World of Virtual Wars (this post) | Next: Virtual Wars Technology>

Friday, July 10, 2015


Rated PG / 1 hr 31 min / Comedy

What is it about?

Since the dawn of time the minions have been chasing the dream. A dream of serving the biggest baddest villain they come across. Why don't they follow Godzilla?? Over the years they have served many masters including Napoleon, Dracula, and a Yeti, but they have not been able to keep a master. By accident each one has perished. The minions end up being pushed into exile after failing one of their masters. In the cold expanse they lose all of their motivation to be the jolly creatures of nonsense they are. Kevin comes up with an idea to save them all. He is going to float through space freaking out with Sandra Bullock. Stuart is going to watch while eating a banana.

You will like it if...

You like light animated comedies made for young children. The minions are just as adorable as they have been in the previous Despicable Me films. The problem is that just like the minions themselves the movie tends to move in random directions without really trying to decide where to go. The story wanders around in circles until the characters go OOooo Shiny! Then they wander off chasing some glitter. There are enough laughs to keep you engaged, but not much else to keep you interested. Sandra Bullock voices Scarlett Overkill, but she doesn't get a chance to revel in playing an evil character. Scarlett feels like one of those evil for no reason characters although they gloss over the reasoning quickly in the film. It makes the character one dimensional and unworthy of Sandra's talents. At points it feels like Scarlett Overkill could have been replaced with a block of wood and it would have actually improved the movie. Minions is better than Despicable Me 2, but still not as good as other animated movies that have come out lately. Inside Out is superior in every way if you're looking for a film to take the kids to.

Next Week

Ant-Man and/or Trainwreck
Vote for your choice in the comments!

Saturday, July 4, 2015

America the Great

The United States of America is having another birthday. It's a time to reflect on the history of a great nation. Some of it we may not be proud of, but each bit has led up to today. The United States is constantly evolving. As we think about the good, bad, and the ugly of America, we should also think about what we as Americans can do to make this country better. I have a few ideas that could help in general and aren't necessarily just for Americans. I will include American-ish examples, but if you're from China or England or Chile some if not all of these ideas could still help. Maybe not if you're in France though. Not sure I can fix that much hate. I'm JK Rowling (Just Kidding ROTFL). Anyway here we go.

Question Everything

If you care about something, question everything about it. Don't take anything for granted. Too often I see people accepting what they are told like it's chocolate ice cream. How do you know it's chocolate ice cream? That could be poop.

For example I have spoken with people who deny climate change and refuse to believe it is real. They say that I don't know the science behind it therefore I'm wrong to believe it is real. So I ask questions. Many times they are unable to provide any documentation themselves. If they are so passionate about a subject then why can they not provide proof? When I do receive links to articles that claim to provide proof of climate change being a hoax, I check the source of the information. Who wrote it? Who do they work for? I haven't been given a link to a single independent scientist that studies climate change who denies that it exists. The sources of these articles are nearly all paid by companies that would feel the impact of further legislative restrictions to publish opinions that deny climate change. Sorry sir, I will not accept your chocolate ice cream for I can tell for a fact that it is not cold and it smells like poop.

Demand More From News Organizations

I have seen this first hand in recent weeks where people have demanded to know the truth about a subject to the point of forcing news organizations to cover a topic. Yes I'm talking about #WhoIsBurningBlackChurches. The outrage over several churches burning down led to that hashtag to trend on twitter. Now Al Jezeera has even covered this story, but there are several other news organizations that still have not. That includes a certain news station who framed the SCOTUS decision on gay marriage as an attack on Christianity. It baffles me that they wouldn't cover this at all since they claim to be defenders of Christianity. I can't make this stuff up.

The point isn't to hammer on one news organization or another, but rather to point out that we have the power to dictate news coverage. Yes you WILL cover Godzilla having tea with the Loch Ness Monster! Most news organizations today aren't trying to inform you, they are trying to make money. If you want to be informed then you have to demand more from them. If they can get away with reporting outright lies when someone pays them to without losing viewers then guess what they are going to do? Fox won that battle in court, news organizations don't have to tell the truth anymore. I wish that was a joke. It is now up to us to hold them accountable because no one else will.

Demand More From Your Representatives

Politicians have been lying to us for years, but can we really count on news organizations to hold them accountable anymore? Liberal media will attack conservatives and the conservative media will attack everyone else. Both sides will ignore or dismiss the other side's points no matter how valid they might be. It's like watching two small children who don't know how to fight slap at the each other's arms. If you support any politician then you should be the harshest critic of that politician as well. Don't let them slide on the tough issues. How will they be prepared to duel with the opposing party if you keep using Nerf guns?

For example, I would like to go back to the issue of climate change. 97% of scientists who study climate have agreed that it is real. Some of our representatives still deny that it is real. The pope said it was one of the great moral issues of our time. The response from one such Catholic climate change denier is to tell the pope to "leave science to the scientists". Clearly they aren't listening to the scientists either, so who are they listening to? That is something the average supporter will not have an answer for.

We all need to let our representatives know that we will hold them accountable. We need to remind them that they need our votes and if they don't represent us properly then we'll take those votes to the other side. That doesn't mean voting along the party line all the time. Partisan politics needs to end. We all reside in a grey area, and it's time to destroy the black and white house that partisan politics lives in. Where's that wolf that used to blow down houses? Social Media is a powerful tool that cannot be ignored any longer. It's a tool that we all can use to get our point across as long as we unite in a common cause.

Discuss Don't Argue

There is a big difference here. A discussion is a give and take between two people aimed at finding the best way or to find the truth of things. It's an exchange of information. Exploring the tough questions is part of it too. You might not have all of the answers, and the person you are discussing an issue with might ask a question that you hadn't considered before. Like how does the introduction of Skittles effect how the United Nations would handle the problem?

It's OK to disagree. You don't have to pull out the ninja sword you bought on Ebay when the other person doesn't bend to your will. Keeping an open mind and actually listening is paramount. All too often people will devolve into shouting matches for no reason with neither side listening to the other. Name calling is not a valid point in any discussion. When you begin name calling in a discussion you have conceded defeat and have rendered all of your valid points moot. Do not pass Go. Do not collect a rainbow.

Realize that You are Not Always Right

I have no woman in my life right now, so I can say this... No one is right 100% of the time. Even I sometimes forget to clean up after myself leaving Legos all over the floor of my blog for the unsuspecting to step on. I apologize in advance if you "find" one with your bare feet. When you enter into a discussion with someone you are not always right. As much as you may try to know every aspect of everything, someone out there knows more about the subject you are discussing at any given moment. Also there is always the possibility that portions of what you assume are true might not be. How sure are you of the facts? 90%? 50%? 10%? Where did you get your information? Are you able to present verifiable proof? How reliable is your source?

I have been in so many arguments where the person I am trying to discuss an issue with would rather win the argument than know the truth of things. I've been called an idiot before simply because the other person was too lazy to do any research. It's OK to be wrong. You CAN change your mind about a subject. Just because you are wrong on one thing doesn't mean you will be wrong forever for everything. It's OK. Grab a Care Bear that you can snuggle with until you feel better about being wrong on something that probably doesn't even matter to you. What were we even arguing about anyway?

Happy Independence Day!

Well everyone it's time to say goodbye for now. July 4 I will be live tweeting as I watch Team America: World Police. For anyone who wishes to join me, I will be hitting the play button at 2 PM EST and using the hashtag #America and #Merica.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Terminator Genisys

Rated PG-13 / 2 hr 5 min / Action - Adventure - SciFi

What is it about?

The war against the machines is ending, but there is another mission that is somehow more important than taking Skynet down. John Connor has to make sure that Kyle Reese goes back in time to invent Reese's Pieces. Who wants to live in a world without those? When Kyle goes back in time there is something wrong. One of the liquid metal terminators made the trip over from Terminator 2 to say hi. Sarah Connor crashes into a building with a Brinks truck and says "Come with me if you want to give me a tongue bath" or whatever it is they always say in these Terminator movies. Then they try to stop Skynet from ever becoming a thing to prevent the One Direction Apocalypse. The previous Terminator films have warned us about One Direction.

You will like it if...

You like action movies featuring homicidal robots from the future with nonsensical scripts. Just like Terminator Salvation the script is a complete mess for most of it. Any time you begin to explore alternate timelines within a complicated time travel tale, things tend to get a bit murky unless you pay very close attention to detail. The people writing this script didn't bother. For every minor detail they get right there is a major plot point they get horribly wrong. The entire dialogue between John Connor, Sarah Connor, and Kyle Reese once they all make it to 2017 ends up being a massive blob of "What the crap is this??" It's better to not think about it too much and enjoy all of the action scenes. The special effects are top notch and the explosions are pretty. The actors do a good job with what they are given, but the script is a giant mess. Like the tentacle monster in hentai, it is best not to question it. The movie still manages to entertain as long as you don't get a tropical disease from getting too close to the script. I don't want to give away the ending, but it's one of the biggest piles of wtf in the script.

Next Week

Minions, Self/less, or The Gallows
Vote for your choice in the comments!