Friday, January 8, 2016

The Revenant

Rated R / 2 hr 36 min / Adventure - Drama - Thriller

What is it about?

Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his son are guides for a group of furries doing naughty things in the woods. Some militant Native Americans want to build a casino on the land, so they attack. The group escapes, but the Native American Chief's favorite Care Bear was stolen. He will not rest until it is back in his hands. They steal the fur costumes to sell to a French gang for My Little Pony toys. They have a thing for My Little Pony, so what? Sometime during the chase Smokey the Bear mauls Hugh Glass and then reminds him that only he can prevent forest fires. John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) doesn't want to play nurse, so he buries Hugh Glass alive. Glass turns into a zombie and vows to have some brain eating revenge.

You will like it if...

You like long and drawn out revenge movies. DiCaprio and Hardy are two of the top actors starring in movies today, and the both dominate the screen when given the chance. DiCaprio gets the starring role while Hardy plays an excellent villain. The story behind the script intertwines the multitude of stories within very well. On the surface everything seems to come together to make a great film. There is always a catch though. The issues with this film all have to do with pacing and dialogue. The director serves this film up with a steaming pile of gravitas covering everything. There are so many pauses for emphasis that the film could have been cut down to be a half hour TV show, but it is over 5 times that length. Because The Revenant is so stuffed full of the gravity of everything there is no room for comic relief or witty banter. The closest you get is an unnecessary 5 minute scene of a Native American and Leonardo DiCaprio trying to catch fake snow in their mouths. I would suggest reading the book over watching the movie at this point even though I haven't read the book as of yet. I would expect that the book would be much better and perhaps some of the pacing problems aren't as bad as they are in the film. If you must see The Revenant I can only recommend waiting for it on Redbox/Netflix.

Next Week

Ride Along 2, 13 Hours, or whichever film you vote for. Vote early, vote often, vote in the comments or Godzilla will pick the movie! As always the movie selection is subject to change based on what is showing here in theaters.

Upcoming to DVD on January 12

  • Sinister 2
  • The Martian - I didn't review it because I reviewed Sicario that week which was also very very good! Quick Review: Matt Damon eats his own poop and everyone cheers. Watch it, it's good!

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