Friday, April 8, 2016

Hardcore Henry

Rated R / 1 hr 36 min / Action - Adventure - SciFi

What is it about?

You wake up with no memory in a vat of liquid. Your wife wakes you up by pulling tubes out of your chest to reveal that you have been in The Matrix the whole time. She tells you that your name is Henry. The robots have rebuilt you, and now you are like Robocop but not a cop. Your wife screws on one of your feet and it like totally does not line up with the rest of your leg. Before you get Morgan Freeman's voice installed the alarm goes off. It turns out that a crazy blonde guy is taking over. Now it's time to escape before everything explodes.

You will like it if...

You like mindless violence, first person shooter games, and vomit inducing shaky camera use. I want to warn you all going into this film that the shaky camera use in this film is more jarring than anything you have ever experienced. If you have ever experienced any motion sickness, no matter how mild, this film will trigger it. I get a mild case of motion sickness when I try to read while in a moving car. I started to get a headache 10 minutes into the film and 30 minutes in I became so physically ill that I was sweating. When I left the theater I felt better almost immediately. Going back into the theater caused the headache to return. In Doom there was an excellent sequence of first person action that was done very well and it obviously made people wonder if a full movie could be done in that style. This is the result, but it's not done anywhere close to as well as that action sequence. It's as if a preteen gamer decided to make a film like a first person shooter video game with no story while using a GoPro camera. The story would be interesting if everyone that even tried to advance the story wasn't shot immediately. I'm not even kidding. Every single time. If you can stomach the shaky camera, some of the stunts and death scenes are gruesome. Hardcore Henry could have been a highly entertaining action film, but the shaky camera is going to be too much for anyone who experiences any kind of motion sickness and the severe lack of any kind of story makes it almost completely unwatchable. This was the worst experience I have ever had at a theater and I cannot recommend this film to anyone. This film is the reason why there will be no more votes for the film that I will review from now on.

Next Week

Godzilla will pick between The Jungle Book and Criminal. As always the movie selection is subject to change based on what is showing here in theaters.

Upcoming to DVD on April 12

  • The Forest - Creepy horror film, but not all that scary.

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