Saturday, November 7, 2015

Power Of The Hug

Whenever I go out I try to engage with the people I come across. After speaking with them if I think they would be interested in my movie reviews or my writing then I will hand them one of my business cards. After their initial reaction at how awesome they look (everyone loves skulls and dragonflies), they laugh. In the text under my name it says "Hugger". I'm glad that it brings joy to people, but it is not a joke. I am a hugger.

Hugs can mean a great many things to everyone. When I hug someone I take it to mean "I am here and I care about you". That is an important concept for me. When I was in college and for years after I fought with depression on a regular basis. There were many nights where I felt a soul crushing hopelessness that made me feel like crying, moving, or breathing was pointless. Some nights I sat in my bed in the dark not daring to move for fear that by moving I would destroy everything.

Depression And Writing

Writing is one of the things that helped me to get past the depression. Putting words on paper that expressed how I felt got these things out of my mind. I wouldn't say that writing saved my life as I never really thought of suicide as an option. I did think about it, but it wasn't something that I seriously considered. I know there are many others who have felt this pain before and have considered or attempted that outcome. Please seek help if you have. There is always someone out there that cares about you whether you know it or not.

I began writing a story that was intended as a suicide note for the main character. It was to include many of the things that set me back and broke my heart up to that point. I couldn't bring myself to write more than a few pages of that story because it was so painful to relive all of those things. I don't know why I tried to torture myself like that, but who else can explain the stupid things they did when they were younger. The main character in another story I worked on is cursed and cannot touch anything without burning or melting it. Characters like these are examples of how I felt at the time. Alone and broken with no chance of anyone coming close to me.

During college is also the time where I rediscovered reading. Jurassic Park was the first novel I fell in love with and I began to devour anything written by Michael Crichton. The escape of the story drew me to comic books again as well. This is also another reason I love movies. Leaving my world behind and joining the world of dinosaurs or mutants with powers sparked my imagination. I wish I had realized that this was my dream back then. There were so many projects that I started which all surrounded a story idea. I didn't realize it then, but I do now. I don't have to package the story as something else. The story can stand on its own.

The Power

The comfort that you feel from a hug is like nothing else. It can be a completely platonic experience or very intimate. When you put your arms out for a hug, you invite someone into your personal space. It shows a level of trust and acceptance. A hug is a form of personal inclusion and validation.

I have come to the realization that how people feel about me doesn't matter as much as how I feel about them. It may sound selfish, but it is true for anyone. If you love or care about someone then let them know. Hug them as often as you can. Never hesitate to tell them that they are special to you. This doesn't mean you should stalk people. Still respect their personal space and decisions, but leave yourself open to them. I know it is a risk, but if they take that opportunity to be cruel to you then they don't deserve to have someone as awesome as you in their life. That goes for people who try to take advantage of you also. Some people see kindness as a weakness, but it isn't. It is a strength.

I want to share my awesome with everyone I can. Some people will accept and enjoy what I have to offer. Some will not, and that's OK. I am here and I care. Sometimes more than I should. This is why I am a hugger, and I give the best hugs.

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