Keanu

Rated R / 1 hr 38 min / Comedy

What is it about?

Rell just had his heart broken. His favorite flavor in the taste challenge for Lay's Potato Chips did not win, so it is being discontinued. It is the end of the world for him. Then a young kitten, against all odds ,finds him in the mean streets of wherever. He names the kitten Keanu and promises to never leave the kitten alone. He immediately goes with his friend to see a Liam Neeson movie with his best friend Clarence. When the two of them get back Keanu is gone. **Epic Darth Vader NOOOoooooo!** Now the two of them will go on a journey to find the missing kitten and free their feline friend from whatever precarious circumstances they find the cat in.

You will like it if...

You like Key & Peele and cute kittens. Keanu brings the Key & Peele brand of silly comedy to the big screen. Like their TV show skits there are some hits and misses throughout the film, but the two have an undeniable comedic chemistry that makes them watchable even when the joke falls flat. The script itself is fairly predictable like most action/comedies, but there are some nice subtle additions that I enjoyed. They made Keanu a character that helps to move the plot and has its own lines of "Meow" throughout the film. At it's best the film Keanu is cute and hilarious, but you have to be a fan of Key & Peele to enjoy it. Watch a few of their skits on YouTube. If you like that brand of comedy then Keanu is definitely your cup of tea. I love silly comedy, so I enjoyed this one for what it was.

Next Week

Godzilla has picked Captain America: Civil War, deal with it! As always the movie selection is subject to change based on what is showing here in theaters.

Upcoming to DVD on April 26

• Joy - Jennifer Lawrence starts a business!

Death and Taxes

The old saying goes that there are two things certain in life, death and taxes. I doubt Benjamin Franklin imagined Godzilla being the bringer of death in this instance, but that won't prevent me from mentioning Godzilla... Beacause... Godzilla!

This being the dreaded deadline month for filing taxes in the United States, I don't want to retread the pain many of you had to go through this past week. Instead I want you to consider an alternative. Revenge! No I am not advocating that you go tar and feather your local tax man. I am talking about how writers get their frustrations out when life gets really crappy and there is not much you can do about it. We take it out on our characters!

Killing Characters

MWAHAHAH! You should be MWAHAHAHing with me. That is the first step in planning the death of a character, but which character are you going to kill? or you could go all Game Of Thrones on your manuscript and kill off every meaningful character there is to replace them with others. If you're not into getting a reader invested so you can take away all the characters they care about that's OK. For now let's just pick one character to kill. There are Care Bears out there and they care, so we'll settle for just one brutal bloody death.

Next you must think of the most painful way for them to go. A knife puncture to the lung causing them to choke on their own blood. Encased in a reinforced glass box with a glow stick and then buried in wet cement. Use your imagination to find the best way to torture, dismember, and ultimately kill your character. Vent all of your frustrations with your character being the representation of whatever is causing you anguish. All the stabby feelings will leave, but you will be left with a mess to clean up.

Clean Up Your Mess

I'm not just talking about a body here. I mean, if there is a body left. There is more to this than the killer trying to cover their tracks. Once I have killed a character off, I consider how the other characters feel about it and how they will cope. Losing a friend or a lover is an emotional experience. They could vow to never love another and that could cause them to become cold towards others. Perhaps the other characters all worked together so they could mix the blood with tomato to make a salsa for their nachos? Mmmm... nachos.

I also consider how that death fits within the story. Can I bring the character back like a comic book? Are there clones? Perhaps that character was a spy for the Clockwork King and they just sent vital plans for the only weapon that can stop him. Run for your lives! Oh wait..  you're the author, so you have control. What was I talking about? *wanders off leaving you to take care of the mess*

The Huntsman: Winter's War

Rated PG-13 / 1 hr 54 min / Action - Adventure - Drama

What is it about?

Back in the day there were two sisters, Anna and Elsa, who wanted to build a snowman. Wait... wrong movie, but maybe characters based off the same characters? Anyway, Anna helped Elsa release her power by using dark magics on her lover to have him eat all the gummy bears. She was furious and turned him into a popsicle. She heads north to start her own kingdom. She raises an army by stealing babies and training them to be Dougie dance instructors. With an army of them she will be as unstoppable as a T-rex with grabbers. It's never enough though and after the fall of her sister she now wants her sister's mirror.

You will like it if...

You liked Snow White and The Huntsman. This film likes its predecessor tries hard to be an epic fantasy film like the Lord Of The Rings movies, but falls short of that. Winter's War is very similar to the prior film. The strength is in its cast which is fantastic. I absolutely adore Jessica Chastain, Emily Blunt, and Charlize Theron. Hemsworth does his best to keep up, but the women are all more interesting characters even though he is the "star" of the film. The story is much better than the straightforward script put forth in the prior effort. In the end it is still predictable, but it does add some nice wrinkles that help with developing Chastain's character. The cinematography continues to be a strength of this series. Many people are calling this an unnecessary sequel and ripping it apart based on the prior film's failings, but I think this one is a superior effort. Yes the love angle(s) do get cheesy in spots and the film does suffer from a lot of the same weaknesses of the prior film, but I enjoyed it for what it is. It is a light bit of standard fantasy entertainment that features some of my favorite actresses.

Next Week

Godzilla has picked Keanu, deal with it! As always the movie selection is subject to change based on what is showing here in theaters.

Upcoming to DVD on April 26

• Krampus
• Ride Along 2 

Perception

Oh Herro there! *throws rainbows at you* Today I want to talk about how the perception of things can drastically change the way things are presented and how it relates to writing fiction. The way we perceive things has an effect on everything else. It's an important part of everyday life and thus is important to writing about fictional lives as well. So let's dive in and see what we can see.

The Glass Is Half Full

Are your characters optimists or pessimists? This is an important question to ask for each character. It helps to set the tone for your world. Your voice or narrator can present things in wildly different ways. A line like "The flowers danced in the sunlight their scent reminding me of Spring" into a line like "I put sunglasses on to shield myself from the harsh rays of light, my sneezes remind me of the rampant infestation of pollen in the air". One casts a positive happy mood on things while the other sounds like something Grumpy Cat would say. Both lines could be used to describe the same thing.

Obviously the current situation will have an effect on how your characters feel at the time. Their outlook on life will still push things one way or another. Given a hopeless situation an optimistic voice will still cling to hope like a lost puppy. While a pessimistic voice will find something wrong with the least stressful of obstacles. The power of confidence and belief battles with doubt and denial all day every day. This is yet another layer that can be added to a character to make them feel realistic. Everyone has their inner doubts, but what side wins?

Set The Mood

This sets the tone for each scene, so think about what kind of scene it is. Are people going to die? Is it a jarring experience or are the heroes finally storming Captain Fluffything's evil fortress filled with death traps? That could help determine if you want to foreshadow what may happen by setting the mood going in. Even an optimistic character is not immune to the dark hue of the fact that something *might* happen.

As a writer you have the freedom to show readers that everything is not as rosy as it seems. It could be that the rose is made of glass and that glass is already cracking down the middle. All it would take is for the bad guys to touch it once and the whole thing would shatter. That would release the magic of the ancients and unlock the prison of the Undead Magna-Dragon. Then your heroes would have only 2 choices. Die while fighting valiantly, or unleash the Godzilla.

One of your characters may also have duct tape and think that will help hold the magic in. They can draw a smiley face in the middle of it as a ward against those who would try to run or say that we are all doomed. As a writer you can let that lighten the mood to act as a tension breaker or you could let the following silence hammer home the hopelessness of the situation.

Conclusion

In a world where perception is everything, a writer can work to control what that perception is to lead the reader down a path of their choosing. We have the power to set the mood based on what is happening and how the characters feel about the situation. Your voice while writing and describing things sets the tone for what is coming. It can be used to shock the reader with something unexpected or to help foreshadow the incoming event.

Criminal

Rated R / 1 hr 53 min / Action - Drama

What is it about?

A hacker known as "The Care Bear" has developed a tool to hack into the Military Industrial Complex. He has offered to sell it off to the United States in exchange for a million Pixie Stix and a Keurig. Unfortunately the CIA operative who was set to bring in "The Care Bear" slipped on a banana peel and died (wait.. Deadpool can't die!). He was the only one that knew the hacker's location. The CIA recruits Doctor Strangelove to inject Deadpool's mind into someone else's because they need to ensure the hacker tool doesn't get into the wrong hands.

You will like it if...

You like slow moving action films with older movie stars. Kevin Costner isn't the star he once was, but he does still have a bit of magic left. I feel like he is better suited to more of a supporting role than lead though. Gary Oldman should go back to playing villains, but he does a decent detective. The acting in this film made up for a lot of flaws in the script. The entire premise of a hacking tool on a thumb drive has been so overdone and makes no sense. Why would there only be 1 copy on a thumb drive? They also wrote Gary Oldman's character to be incredibly stupid. He's the guy in charge yet he makes impulsive rash decisions without a backup plan over and over again. It's not realistic at all and makes it look like the character has a chemical imbalance in his brain. The story also moves at a snail's pace as they try to use Gal Gadot as sort of a "love conquers all but not really" plot device repeatedly. In spite of all the flaws and predictability of the script Criminal still is a mildly entertaining film thanks in part to the star power of the cast. If you are interested I would wait for Netflix/Redbox.

Next Week

Godzilla will pick between The Huntsman: Winter's War or Elvis & Nixon. As always the movie selection is subject to change based on what is showing here in theaters.

Upcoming to DVD on April 19

• The Revenant